I have some sad news for those of you who have not yet seen my Facebook page.
My darling cat MeMe, who was with me during the virtual retreat and all my workshops, sadly became very ill over the last couple of weeks. Firstly, with a spinal stroke and recently with seizures. It was time for her to travel over the rainbow bridge to her maker.
She past away in my arms with her daddy and loving long-term vet beside her, we all had love and tears in our eyes.
I wanted to let you all know, because:
– I know some of you are fur mums and dads.
– I know you know this loss and pain.
I wanted you to know that I know that too and it is heart breaking.
It is an incredible pain – the attachment we have toward our pets, especially when we don’t have children. I have poured my love and caring onto little MeMe and have not held back and, because of this, I have received love and trust from her tenfold.
I am being incredibly gentle and loving to myself and in my relationship with Simon, who is also grieving his loss.
Our tears flowed at times like floods down our faces, honouring the love and pain we felt, at first with the prospect of losing her and then at the end with pain and sadness of the loss.
I wanted to share with you what supported me and continues to, in case this is supportive and helpful to you all.
∞ As an Arts Counsellor and Cosmic Smash Booking Guide and Mentor, I leaned on these tools as my supports. My Creative Journal sat like a companion on my desk and beckoned me in whenever I needed comfort.
I rested and flowed, honouring with gusto and gentleness, all my feelings into my Book and asked for clarity when needed. I can’t tell you what an absolute gift this is in my life and my belief in this process has grown stronger, knowing that without it all these feelings would still be buried within me and I would not be here writing to you.
∞ I spoke and shared with trusted people in my life and pulled away from others and completely allowed my heart to choose!
∞ I’ve used ritual throughout this process – lighting candles and creating an altar, which has helped bring prayer and spirituality into this journey. So helpful and comforting for me.
∞ I opened to support from unusual places. I was blown away – the universe completely provided and in unexpected mysterious ways. I want to thank a beautiful soul, Johannah Stirzaker who reached out to me with reiki support for both MeMe and myself.
∞ I honoured my partner’s feelings – which were very different to mine at times.
∞ At the end, I trusted myself to take what I needed from MeMe to have her be in my heart (weird I know – but I felt I needed to take little clippings of white and black fur and I popped them into a ceramic pill box which I was given as a gift 10+ years ago. I never knew what to do with it, and it so happens it was perfect for this very thing).
∞ I’ve needed to create cards for the vets, which made me go through all the photos of her. This was so therapeutic and helped me revisit our time together – the highs and the lows.
∞ I’ve never had to deal with a pet’s death before and working through all those decisions at a time of loss was interesting to say the least. Though what felt really important was to trust and honour all of them with love and to allow the answers to come to me. Which they did.
I hope this is helpful for you. Today I have no regrets, only a sense of relief and love in my heart. The emotions are being processed as and when they come up. The grief flows through me in the here and now.
MeMe rests by the altar I made with the little pill box and our stones. She will be buried this weekend or the next with a plant placed on top, that both Simon and I will choose together. It will be another part of the letting go process and one I will hold dearly.
All my love