The Battle and the Grief Warrior

Transformation requires LOVE: HONESTY, SURRENDER and FEARLESSNESS!

After my final IVF treatment, the loss of my job/career and mental strength, I took to my bed. I curled up, turned on Netflix and laid there for days. I wanted and needed some relief and to forget. I wanted to feel better. My favourite programs were about superheroes, fighting a battle within and outside of themselves. Of course, they won. But there I was feeling like I was losing my battle.

On days when I needed to get up, I felt like a super-hero – I put on the cape and fought, but came home exhausted and climbed straight back into bed.

I did not realise that the battle I needed to fight was deeper within myself than I could even imagine. The grief I was feeling inside was of the loss of …

• My dream
• Friendships
• Family
• My relationship
• My career
• My heart
• My creativity
• and my future and of myself

At one point I decided enough was enough. I sought support … I shared… and I fought some more …

• I wrote lists
• I created
• I walked
• I talked

What I was saying to myself was “come on we can do this, come on just one more action…”

But inside I was miserable, tired, afraid and grieving.  I lacked my zest for life.  

Here’s why I’m telling you this:

Lasting change doesn’t come from shouting, screaming and pushing.

It comes with being – Loving – Honesty and Fearlessness to Surrender what we already know! 

At 28 I made a miraculous change in my life.

I left a job that I truly hated, I let go of friends who were no good for me and I took some time out from family members who were unsupportive. I did this with support and LOVE. I surrendered what I knew and was fearless and trusting that there must be a different way. I took a journey within and did some soul searching. I explored. I expressed. I looked within and played, trying new things.  

• Painting
• Drawing
• Walking
• Going to art galleries
• Talking to new people

I was letting go of what I knew and trusting I would find my next path, that was meant to be.

And I did. I found my heart and my soul.

For me, I call this being a Grief Warrior!

A grief warrior we all are!

I have no doubt about that.

If you are here you have been, and are, on your own journey through childlessness and loss.

You may be scared, you may be hiding, but with looking there will be another transformation within the grief.

I promise you!

Remember you are a Grief Warrior.

Step gently into YOU today!  Even if you are exhausted – know that this is showing you the way.  It is exhausting to process grief and change.  Try to respect this journey of yours.  It is ok to go really slowly.  

Lovingly do one tiny small act to share yourself today.  Share where you are with someone.  Let go of the shame.  Share with Empowered Childlessness, share with me, share with a buddy.  Expressing ourselves is important!  This is a Journey of Courage.

Love instead of distrust and internal criticism: some days we have to take one tiny step in front of each other. It’s like that sometimes.

Honesty instead of dishonesty: Turn towards your truth. If it’s pain, know that this is ok. It’s ok to see and feel pain. You are not alone, reach out… there will be people to stand beside you.

Surrender instead of control: Let go of what you know, and trust that there is another way. You will be shown that way, maybe today or tomorrow or a little while down the line but, if you walk your path, it will be given to you.  I promise you!

Fearlessness instead of fear: Step into your journey knowing that this is the only way back into you. It’s ok to be scared and fearful, because stepping into the unknown can be scary.  But know that this is truly an amazing adventure you are on!  Know that there is support for you – trust your intuition and that tiny little spark that says – yes, go that way – I want to go that way and try this and that.  

Transformation through loss and grief and opening to something new!

This year I am focusing on EXPANSION!  

Here’s to more LOVE: Surrender, Honesty and Fearlessness … When creating a new life and adventure for yourself.

To find out more about the Grieve with Gusto Live Programme that can support you on your journey click here

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